I was listening to Jasmine Star’s podcast this morning while driving home from kindergarten, and she said that ‘confidence comes after courage’. I so love this woman. If you don’t know about her, you definitely should. Her energy is contagious, and I learned a ton from her, and I’m almost embarrassed for not joining The Social Curator, her membership program, and to give back to her that way. Maybe I will, the times are strange. However, fear, courage, and confidence.
So, confidence comes after courage. I thought how accurate this is, but there is something I would add before that. That is Fear. Yes, a big ‘F’ word. Because first there is doubt, and fear, and insecurity, and if you have the courage to go through it, confidence will follow.
What is it that you fear?
After I enrolled in Marie Forleo’s B School last year, I took the opportunity to ask many fellow students what was their fear about showing online and starting their business. I asked the same question to almost 50 of my Instagram online course students at about the same time.
Most of them had the same worries and similar fears. They fear negative comments, about being vulnerable in front of a harsh audience that we all see sometimes. Yup, there is always that one hater, non-achiever, an excuse-driven individual who lives for giving opinions mostly when not being asked for one. They were fearful of not meeting the standards or expectations, of looking stupid, of being an imposter, fearful of rejection, or showing their true self, and some didn’t like how they looked in photos.
Using fear as an excuse
You see, there is a pattern. It really doesn’t matter what ‘sort’ of fear you have, because it is conditioned by your entire life. Your belief system, your mindset, the way you were brought up, and there is some genetics and karma involved, too. But that all – can be, and often is used as an excuse for not having the confidence.
No matter what is it that you do, you will have some doubts, or fears, or insecurities. It is normal. But in the midst of it, you need to walk through live coals, which takes some courage, or a lot, to be able to get to the other side. And on the other side, it’s not you healing your burnt feet, but you looking back thinking it wasn’t that bad at all.
Fear, courage and confidence go hand in hand
And then, next time, you’ll be standing in front of the challenge, having much more confidence to walk the path of smoke, knowing that it’s not as easy, but not as bad either.
You see, a pattern again. Fear, courage, confidence.
I thank Jasmine for inspiring this week’s short and sweet. It didn’t end up as short as I thought it would, but hope you will find some sweetness in it.
I wish you a beautiful day and a beautiful life. We’re the creators. We make it our way.
I love you,
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