How to deal with fear

We’ve all been there. Feeling fear is an overwhelming emotion that can easily distract you and keep you away from having an easy, fulfilled and happy life. If you would love to find a way of how to deal with fear and overcome anxiety, read on.

Think about this: how many times have you NOT done something that was close to your heart because you were in fear of rejection, or showing up as you are, or fearing that what you do is not good enough? I’m not even going in the spheres of ‘what if something terrible happens to your loved ones…’. We’ve all been there, right?

Is there a way of dealing with fear?

Feeling fear can and will lead you into stress, anxiety, panic attacks or similar and this will make you live only a segment of your full capacity if you let it.

However, there are ways of dealing with the fear that could help you live your life to its full potential and in this article, I’m bringing you several ways of how to deal with fear. 

For me, it was way too many times that I have felt fear which has stopped me from being the best possible version of myself. All until one time when I realized what fear actually was. 

So, what is fear really?

To cut it short, fear is your response to any kind of danger, emotional, physical or other. It shows up as a physical or emotional reaction to certain occasions happening in the NOW or to something that may happen in the future.

Fear is an emotion, just like any other, but unlike higher vibrational emotions, this one is mostly not doing any good. Not entirely, though, and I’ll come to that a bit later.

Notice the ‘may happen in the future’ part which is my main subject here for this is something I’ll refer to as an irrational fear.

Feeling fear is a part of our species

From an evolutionary point of view, we wouldn’t have survived if we didn’t feel fear for it has saved our ancestors from danger and dying over and over again. 

If fear is occurring about something happening right now, it’s here to save your back. You wouldn’t walk an empty alley in the middle of the night all alone without fear of what might happen to you? Or you wouldn’t climb the top of a mountain when it’s pouring rain and lightings striking and not feeling fear, am I right? I did that once and I wouldn’t recommend it.

I can clearly remember the first time I noticed the fear in my son’s behavior when he went to the basement one day where he has been so many times before. He might have been around two or so.

I happen to be watching him down the stairs and I was shocked to see his terrified face when he turned back and started climbing back up the stairs crying in a panic with this face of terror I have never seen before. You know those movies like Circle or something? That kinda face. 

When I asked him what was going on, he somehow explained that he got scared and couldn’t quite say why. He got scared of the ‘dark’ and the ‘depth’ of the basement. He didn’t know what was out there.

And then I realized. Fear is a part of our beings and it is helping us survive. It is not picked up or acquired. Fear is a part of our species and it comes naturally as a part of development. 

Two types of fear

Now, fear, as explained before, is a ‘good’ fear, an emotion that will make adrenaline run through your blood, give you the incredible power and push your body in defense mode to help you survive. That’s what fear is meant for. 

But what happens when you are not in danger but still feel fear of what might happen? That is an irrational fear.

From my point of view, the emotion of fear comes up when there is a lack in your system. 

Lack of knowledge, lack of love from yourself and others, lack of support, lack of trust. 

I’m taking it deeply here, I know, but read on. 

The problem occurs when you give power to the emotion as if you cannot control it. When you identify yourself with fear and you feel as though you’re being wrapped up by it or as if it’s taking you over. I know you know what I mean.

And now let me just quickly hop on to the moment I’ve mentioned at the beginning of this post when I have realized how to deal with fear. 

Realizing how to deal with fear

Short as possible – I have decided to break up a 7-year long relationship, no steady income, being my own boss and earning crickets. Determined to stay a freelancer and earn money on my own.

Having no place to go, no money at all, leaving my partner’s house and not wanting to ask for any help from my parents. Boo. 

I remember sitting in the greenhouse where we lived (nothing fancy, but I loved the place), and being in this totally new place in my head. With all mentioned above, I have entered the state of fear in my head more than once. 

I wasn’t feeling fear all the time, but in a lack of trust and care for myself, in those quick moments of not trusting in life, fear would occupy my mind.

What am I going to do and how? How am I going to earn the money? How am I going to start everything all over by myself? What if I find a place and can’t pay the rent? What if, what if?

A physical reaction to the emotion of fear

My fears back then would put my mind in a foggy place, make my heart beat faster and make my belly contract. I would almost start feeling sick and wanting to jump out of my skin, but I have, oddly and amazingly very quickly found a way of how I perceive this. 

Instead of letting this weed growing in my mind, I would imagine it as a tunnel above my head. I would sit and let it come close to me.

Imagining myself being in a tunnel, by foot, long, cold and dark, I convinced myself that fear was only the concrete above my head.

It was floating above, I was standing in silence and calm, feeling how it can NOT hurt me. It can NOT touch me unless I let it. 

FEAR was an EMOTION that I could let myself go into or stay away.

Perspective shift

I hope this makes any sense to you. If you cannot imagine what I did, try finding something that suits you. It can be a cloud above your head, or a suit you can take off anytime, or a fog/smoke you can choose not to enter to.

What is important here is to shift your perspective about it. 

It was a meditation practice of its own for myself back then, and I didn’t even realize it.

Speaking of meditation, if you haven’t tried it yet and everybody has been speaking out loud, I have an amazing free guide on how to meditate for newbies. You could also love my article What is meditation and how to meditate.

It is very simple, one sheet and 4 different ways you can meditate, and it’s a powerful tool that can help you overcome your fears. 

Anyhow, soon enough I started envisioning the light at the end of the tunnel I was surrounded by. Don’t get discouraged by how it was easy for me. It wasn’t. It was a practice that got better with time, and it was a safe space where I knew I could enter any time I needed to. 

And to tell you a secret, I still do that. 

You are the creator of your life

So, once more, don’t let fear get you into its own vortex. It is an emotion and you are the creator of it. 

Because your mind likes playing games. It gives you more of what you offer. If you choose to feel fear, it will give you more to fear. 

Just remember, you have the power and you have the control over your mind. YOU are the CREATOR of everything. 

Now that you have information about it, there are no more excuses not to step into your power. 

Create your own story. Create what you want to cultivate. It’s okay to feel fear, it’s okay to feel low, but have in mind that these are not the places you want to stay in. They are here to remind you where you need to look. 

The thing is this topic of how to deal with fear and overcome anxiety is not a quick thing and it does take time. What’s great about it, that it truly does get better as you practice.

Once you know the root and have the tools you can use, you start walking the path of becoming your own master.

How to deal with fear and overcome anxiety

And as for that, here are a few quick tips on how to help yourself with overcoming fear. 

Learn

Learn. Invest in your knowledge. Invest time and energy in getting to know better and more about the subject you’re fearing about. The more you learn, the more you know, the less you’ll have the chance to feel fear. 

Find love for yourself

Love yourself deeply. Find ways of feeling appreciation for your body, mind, soul, and life and exercise gratefulness. Feel nothing but love for yourself because that is what you’re meant to be. Pure love. Never forget this. 

Ask for support

Ask for support. Find someone you can trust to assist you on your journey. That can be a friend, a partner, a doctor, a psychologist, a therapist, alternative medicine, an institution, an online coach or program or even a pet. Having someone to help you deal with what you’re going through can change your trajectory. You don’t need to go through life alone; you’re not meant to. 

Trust

Trust. Have trust in the divine Universe and the divine plan it was intended for you. You are divine and you are powerful. For you are a Universe itself and you are not meant to be and play small. You are meant to live the most beautiful life you can imagine, but you have to go through whatever you’re going through to gain experience, knowledge, and tools that will bring you up higher. Have trust in life for it has marvelous plans for you. 

However, when I mentioned before that fear is not doing us any good, here’s how you can look at it from a different perspective.

With all said above, repeatedly feeling fear over something is inviting you to get to know yourself better, to look within and dig deep. And with that shift, you can do wonders.

But, babe, you need to play your role too, you need to do the work, you need to overcome your own challenges. And dealing with fear is one of them. 

Be bold, be brave, and don’t let fear be an excuse not to live your best life possible. 

If you have any thoughts on this, please leave a comment.

And if you liked this article, you might also like:

Having self-worth in a world of comparison

The Universe has your back