Yes, this is the life we live in – comparison and competition. If you’re feeling a bit overwhelmed with this, and self-worth in the world of comparison and competition is something you’re struggling with, then continue reading! This is the article for you, my friend! And it’s about to boost your confidence.
Accomplishing strengthens your self-worth? Wrong.
I have received an e-mail today, a newsletter I am subscribed to. It was from a woman selling online courses about a topic I’m interested in, and she shared something personal this time. She wrote about her experience of having a burnout and she was sort of ‘forced’ by her doctor to take 6 months off from work to get back to herself and she started walking the path of self-(re)discovery. Hobbies that she once had were brought back to life and she started discovering things she enjoyed doing again, what seemed like a whole new world to her.
What struck me is that it was the second e-mail I got this week saying the SAME thing. Again from a woman I admired, an entrepreneur having a 7 figure business. In the race for accomplishments and earning (loads) of money, they have forgotten about – well, themselves, and they are not just among a few. So it made me think about it for a bit.
This woman today whom I admire for her work said that she felt like she had self-worth only if she was accomplishing things. If not, she didn’t feel worthy. And I was actually surprised when this knocked me. Woooh! How familiar this was.
It’s a challenging life, my friend
Being a stay at home mom has brought many challenges for me, and among mum guilt, sleepless nights and others, I got into the comparison game as well as self-worth issues. I wasn’t earning any money or very little occasionally and I wasn’t achieving anything for the ‘outside world’. Despite the fact that I was doing the hardest, the most important, the greatest multitasking, multi-faceted, most responsible and most demanding job you can imagine – taking care of a child and maintaining a household. I mean, who was the brain that took a paycheck off from this position? Not like there was ever one.
Like, seriously? Holding up a family together, while nursing, maintaining a happy and positive vibe in our home, having no screen time 6am to 10 pm days, 7 days a week for the first two years, cooking daily healthy meals, searching and finding the best groceries and taking care of myself while putting down ideas for some future projects and businesses. Plus a job from time to time. And I also have a husband. A Scorpio husband. Seriously.
Where does this belief system come from?
And still, sometimes I felt no self-worth. I wasn’t accomplishing anything measurable with numbers, scales or currencies except the number of breastfeeding, shitty cloth diapers, spillt meals and sexual encounters that were, well, not that high in scale. Was I a failure? Can you relate?
However, as most other issues and traumas, self-worth is also developed in childhood. Were we praised only when doing things well? The right way? Probably, right? So let me ask you, are we worthy only when doing things well, only when accomplishing and doing the right things? Or are we supposed to be worthy just by being alive, being humans? Isn’t that our human right, right that we got by birth?
Bringing up new beliefs
And let me answer this one for you. It is. You are worthy. No matter how you feel, You are good enough.
Once more, You are good enough! There is no right way for anything, there is no perfection and there is no obligation for you to follow certain standards. You are your own standard, you are your own way, you are your own god and THAT is your only measure.
Time, patience and consistency
Lives and businesses are built over years, not overnight. Discovering yourself and allowing yourself authenticity is a path of growth and it takes time, patience and consistency. And you are ALLOWED to do it at your own pace.
In case you’re still in doubt, let me reassure you. You are worthy even if you don’t accomplish what you think you should. What you do on the outside is your choice, and that does not affect your own worth. If you were to choose only to eat, sleep, play, repeat – that would be a waste of your amazing potential but would not affect your worth.
Whatever you choose to do, it is up to you, but please, just don’t do politics. It’s so last century. You can do better.
Please comment below how you feel about this topic. I would love to know! Do you feel the same? Do you feel worthy only when you are accomplishing something? Were you aware of this before or did you think about it just now after reading this article? I would love to hear your thoughts and experiences on this! This is such an important topic.
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My blessings to you,