Having confidence has been one of my main struggles throughout my twenties. Even though I did understand and know my own worth, when I was supposed to show up in front of others, I would immediately think less of myself. My photography was less than, my ideas, my knowledge, and my experience.
Honestly, it wasn’t what I felt inside all the time, but this is how I would show up. And this is what shaped me, a lot.
Can you build confidence fast?
There are many and more ways you can develop and build more confidence, and I’m only bringing you a few to start with. However, there is a ‘but’.
Unfortunately, there is no way for you to feel more confident tomorrow. There is no space for overnight success. Having trust in yourself and more confidence in showing up is a process that will take time. With your decision, will, and constant nurturing, you will see and show progress with time.
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Now, imagine having a garden. If you plant seeds in spring, you will have to wait for all until summer or autumn to pick up the fruits. If you plant a seed and just leave it, it probably won’t grow up into a healthy plant. You will need to water it. It is the same with everything in life, and so it is with you building up that confidence.
Take your time, set your goals, and start making the first steps. Here are 5 proven ways on how to build your confidence.
How to boost your confidence?
1. Show up
Showing up at what you do, at what you’re not confident about will drastically boost your confidence. It does sound obvious, but the more you do what you do, the more confidence you will gain. Here’s an example. Imagine you cooking for the first time ever. Since cooking is my thing, this might be a good example.
How do you feel this might end up? Probably not the best thing ever, right? But hey, you’ve got to eat, so you’re going to cook again. So you do it again, and then things start making more sense, you apply what you have learned the last time and you get better with each time.
Don’t mind the example, you can apply this to anything. Doing business, making art, gardening, showing up, relationships, teaching, selling, or just being. It is the same with everything, the more you do it, the more confident you become.
Which leads us to the next one.
2. Get to know yourself better
Getting to know yourself better? How does this affect your increasing confidence? Here’s how.
First of all, lack of confidence does not come from a place of abundance, but from a place of lack. Our entire life, every occasion, experience, surroundings, the way we were brought up has formed us the way we are. Many, many times we were told that what we did was not good, or not good enough, that we could or should do better. We were often compared to others who did it better’, which is completely w-r-o-n-g. But, hey, our parents and their generation did the best they could and knew. It is not them to blame. Anyway, all these wrong’s and not good enough’s shaped us with many holes in our beings, that are causing us to feel a lack. Lack of knowledge, lack of trust, lack of love, lack of being good enough.
What does this have to do with anything? Keep reading, we’re only a step away from connecting the dots.
If you start asking yourself questions that would help you get to know yourself better, like who you are, why you do what you do, what would you love to achieve and why, how would you love your future to look like and for what reasons, you will get more clarity about yourself. When you start digging deep you will start filling those empty spots of lack and fill them with a better relationship with your own self. Makes sense? When you are more familiar with the subject, you will become more confident about it. Just like with cooking, only this time the subject is you. The more aware you are of yourself on all levels, the more confidence you will gain. Which leads us to number three.
3. Keep learning
Learn, learn, keep learning. Just to make sure you don’t get this the wrong way. Whole knowledge in the world won’t make you confident if you don’t take in consideration other aspects of your being. But still, the more you learn and the more you know about something, the more confident you will become.
Let’s get back to cooking again. You do know where I’m going with this, right? If you learn more about how to prepare certain types of food, the benefits, the varieties, combinations….the more confident you will become. No doubt about it. You will read books, watch youtube videos, read blogs, talk to others, and the more you know about a certain topic, you will become more confident about it. You will talk about it with ease and be able to express yourself better around it. Sounds easy, but it’s the truth and it does take time.
4. Invest in yourself
Invest in yourself. Yes to this! All the way. I’m so continuing with the cooking example because it suits so well. Imagine you being in the kitchen, prepping for cooking for the first time ever, with only the basic ingredients and utensils, with no knowledge or experience. How does this look like to you?
And then next, imagine yourself a year after, with a few books on the shelves, with a blender and a few new kitchen utensils and gadgets, with more ingredients and maybe even a cooking class behind you. See how it all works and fits together? Imagine if you invested in a mentor, a cooking class, books, workshops, gadgets. Every single thing you invest in yourself will pay off multiple times. As I always say, investing in yourself is the one investment that pays off the most. Again, investing too much before you’re ready doesn’t make sense. Buying everything offered out there won’t make you feel better about yourself. Which leads us to the next thing.
5. Love yourself more
Yes to this, big time. Not only for confidence matters, but for the sake of loving yourself. You are the only person you spend your entire life with, so tell me, isn’t that enough of a reason to love yourself first and most? I don’t mean ego-tripping love, narcissistic behavior, and thoughts, but really, truly accepting your whole body, mind, and emotions, so your soul can be at peace. Connect with yourself, tune in, and give yourself love in any form that you feel right at the moment. That can be saying yourself in the mirror that you love you, nurturing your body the way it deserves, exercising, meditating, eating healthy food, giving yourself rest and time off, taking a break, making love, complimenting yourself. Whatever feels natural and good. Start immediately, please. There is no time for postponing self-love and self-care, because all you have, really, is now. You deserve only the best. You are worthy of attention, care, love, and growth.
Is this enough?
Honestly, it does depend on where you are at in your life, what is your history and your experience. It matters how clear you are with what you want to make out of your life and how dedicated you are to actually make the change.
As I mentioned above, there is no quick-fix solution for becoming more confident, it is a process and it will take time.
I don’t want to discourage you with the long term run, but if you are willing to create a better life for yourself, you already know you need to work to make it happen.
It doesn’t have to be hard if you decide on not making it. It is really up to you on how you decide to perceive it.
So, to sum it up, do these to build your confidence about anything. Show up more. The more you show up, the more you will feel good about yourself.
Take every opportunity to know yourself better and learn more about yourself. You can do this in so many ways, and you go and try what feels best.
Never stop learning, because life is a constant education process, no matter how aware you are of it.
Never stop investing in yourself. Investing in yourself is the one investment that pays off the most.
Love yourself, girl! Who else is going to do it if you don’t start first? There are no excuses. Dig deep and find those dark spots that need love the most. Find the light spots as well and love them even more.
What is next?
Hey, and most importantly, never, ever give up on yourself. Your dreams are worth living to make them happen. You deserve the life you desire. And you can have it all.
This universe is an abundant place and there is more than enough for every single one of us.
I’m happy you’re here and I hope you got what you needed from this post.
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